Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Thar She Blows

During my pregnancy I decided I wanted to use cloth diapers on my baby. There are so many reasons, but the biggest two were because it's better for the environment and to save money (because I'm cheap and babies are expensive).

As usual I researched away, shout out to Kim Rosas at for all the amazing info and cloth diaper reviews. I finally convinced The Captain to go along with them as well, but he was pretty reluctant when it came to dealing with poop. (See Swab The Poop Deck!) I assured him that it would be no big deal. Breast milk poo dissolves in water and it would be awhile before solids. Then we could get a diaper sprayer.

His ears perked up. What was this sprayer I spoke of? For those of you who are wondering the same think, a diaper sprayer is a spray hose that you attach to your toilet. It sprays off stuck on baby poo before the diapers go in the wash. I think part of his interest was due to his fear of poop. The other part was excited about using a power washer inside the house. He brought up that we really should get a diaper sprayer for months, well before we introduced solids to our first mate.

Finally, when The First Mate was nearing 6 months old I ordered a diaper sprayer and was excited to install it. Now I'm pretty handy and can figure most things out. I thought I did a great job installing the sprayer, until I was done and discovers a bag of washer still in the box. Now in my defense, the instructions made no mention of these washers. I called in The Captain to fix my mistake because our First Mate was hungry and ready for bed. I fed the baby, put him to sleep, and started cooking dinner and I could hear the frustration coming from the bathroom. My husband is handy, sometimes, but his patience wears thin fast. I learned this the time he was installing a garbage disposal at his parent's house and I got my knee in the way of a hammer he tossed. I installed the garbage disposal and have handled these sorts of things from then on.

The Flo Diaper Sprayer

Notice no mention of washers!

I checked on him and he couldn't get a piece unattached to put in a washer. We took a break for dinner and then I took care of it and excitedly crouched down behind the toilet to turn the water back on.

Excitement turned to disaster! The valve broke off and water came shooting from the wall in full force. I screamed for The Captain as I held a towel against the open spout. The sound of water bursting from the wall was deafening to me, but he heard me. He came running expecting to see me with a cut finger or something. Instead he was surprised to see a drenched wife and a growing pool of water. He took over keeping the blowhole stuffed and I ran out to turn off the water.

This was not a wise decision, but pure panic had set in. In times of chaos you don't think clearly and to me running outside in my soaked white T-shirt and shorty pajama bottom to look for something I had no clue where to find made complete sense. I searched at the side of the house where all the other control panel thingamajigs were. No luck. I called my parents hoping for my Dad's help to locate the water shut off. He wasn't home and I quickly told my Mom, there's an emergency, I can't talk. Not what a Mom and new Grandma wants to hear, but I was panicking.

During this time The Captain was dealing with a screaming and terrified First Mate. He had woken up with all the noise and apparently my husband was screaming for me because he knew where to turn off the water. He had to put the baby in the bouncer and leave the water to fill the bathroom until the little man was safe and happy.

I came back in to tons of water and quickly took my place back at the spout while The Captain ran outside to turn off the water. (Which you all should know is near the street under a metal plate.)

Ah, the water slowed to a trickle and then stopped. I relaxed my strained arm and was left to assess the damage. There was at least an inch and half of standing water in the bathroom that had to be cleaned up quick. I started using towels, blankets, whatever I could find to sop up the water and get it away from the carpet. Then I finally thought clearly and used the carpet cleaner to suck up any water that had gotten in the carpet and then what was left on the bathroom floor. We definitely needed a plumber.

We called a plumber in the morning he arrived at the door with a hammer. The Captain had used it to open the metal plate on the water shut off and tossed it into the driveway. Apparently throwing hammers is a recurring theme for him. The plumber fixed everything up and $100 dollars later (thanks to a coupon) we were ready to spray poop.

Installed and ready for use

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