Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Belay That Talk

The First Mate is fast approaching his first birthday. It makes me reflect on many things. An uplifting, reflective post is sure to come after his birthday party, but this is definitely not that post. I've had a crappy week, so let me get all my frustration out. Thanks in advance for partaking in my therapy.

This is a post about one thing I hate about parenting. The unwanted and unsolicited advice. Apparently, once you have a baby, everyone is sure to tell you how to raise and care for your child. Now I'm not talking about pregnancy, load me up with helpful info in that 9 month period and I will sort out the useful from the useless and make my own decisions. This is about the comments and suggestions that imply my parenting is wrong or that I have no idea how to care for my child.

I've heard from family, from strangers, from everywhere on what I should be doing. Here are actual things people have said to me, followed by things I did NOT actually say. (but probably should have)

"You should just lay him in the crib and I bet he'll stay asleep." Well I just put him in his crib and I know, that he woke up crying because his nose is so stuffed he can't breathe. 

"Babies will get sick eventually, you should  just accept it and deal with it." First off, I have fully accepted and am dealing with it. Wasn't that obvious by the tube I'm using to suck snot from my child's nose? Second, I can still not like the fact that my baby is miserable and sick while accepting and dealing with it.

"You just wait and pretty soon you'll like me more than your mama." This is just a rude, nasty thing to say and wish. I wanted to say something much ruder and nastier.

"Babies cry, that's what they do!" Yes, this is true, but it is my job as a mom to know what that cry means and to answer it. A child cries because they need something or are feeling an emotion. To ignore the needs and emotions of a child sounds like neglect to me.

"You can breastfeed the baby while [The Captain] drives." No, that is illegal and dangerous. You can't take a child out the car seat while the vehicle is in motion! (I'm pretty sure I actually did say that)

"You're still breastfeeding at one year old?!" Yup, how many children do you have? Oh right, zero. Your expertise on the subject is invalid. P.S. The World Health Organization recommends until 2 or when the child weans naturally.

Those are just some examples, but I assure you there have been many more comments made. I know I probably said a ton of things pre-parent that people wanted to smack me for, so this is my PSA to you. Belay that talk (aka Shut Up)

I now invite you to join in on my therapy session. Comment below with the offending remark and your rebuttal.


  1. My usually remark is either "Fuck off", or the more politically correct "and you think I am listening why?"

    1. And I like that you, the one terrified of children, commented on this post.

  2. Actually Michelle, your usual remark is "I do what I want!"


I'd love to hear what you've got to say. Please leave a comment and I'll do my best to reply to them all.