Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy Birthday America... Let's Blow Sh*t Up!

Happy Birthday America! 

Let me first start off by saying I am PROUD to be an American, even though there were some years in the early 2000s that Canada looked appealing. I just don't like the fourth of July. Let me elaborate.

4 reasons I hate the 4th of July

I get sunburned easily. Yes, just like one of the reasons I don't enjoy summer. The fourth of July usually involves being outside in the glaring sun for hours to watch a parade out wait for some hot dogs to come off the grill. And that brings us to reason number 2.

I don't want BBQ. As a vegetarian, there just isn't much for me to eat at a barbecue.  I've learned to make due over the years, but a cheese and mustard on a bun gets old fast. 

Fireworks terrify me. This one has a long back story. I was forced to "enjoy" fireworks as a child. I always protested because they were too loud. This was reason enough to hate them, but one year a truck caught fire during a show and that intensified my hate. (I have been told that this didn't happen, but I vividly remember seeing it as a child). 

As Independence Day rolled around each year, sparklers were thrust into my hand and I cried, bottle rockets were shot off as I hid under strangers beds, and I dreaded being somewhere where a surprise fireworks display would catch me off guard. To this day, I do not like them.

People get drunk and stupid. This happens other time of year as well, but it is pretty prevalent on the fourth. When people spend all day drinking in order to celebrate their country, they lose their good judgement. 

Sometimes they didn't even have good judgement in the first place. It's like they say "Happy Birthday America, let's blow shit up!" I have even had people throw firecrackers at me and the pugs as we were out for a walk. (That did NOT help my fears at all). In some cases, people are even dumb enough to fire guns in the air. I don't like to be out in a sea of these idiots, so I prefer just to avoid the festivities.

I always seem to be alone in disliking Independence Day celebrations. I hate explaining my reasons almost as much as those four bullet points above.

I am going to attempt to take The First Mate to enjoy some local celebrations. I don't want to let my fears hinder his life experiences. However, I will be sure to listen to him if he hates fireworks as much as I do.

How do you celebrate the holiday? Maybe you've got some ideas that I can help me enjoy the day a little more.

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